Sunday, June 4, 2017

A Pleasant Afternoon in East Berlin

She noticed him walking along Alexanderplatz as he approached the eiscafe from the U-Bahn.  She was sitting outside, enjoying an ice-cream with a cookie and coffee at a small table, alone.  He asked her in clearly articulated German if he could join her at her table.  She looked around.  Seeing there were no other empty chairs, she welcomed him graciously but with apologies for her poor language skills.

Not knowing how to ignore a person sitting so closely to her, she allowed herself to be drawn into conversation.  Since he didn't know much English, they continued conversing in German.  She had skipped class at the University in order to see East Berlin for herself, without the supervision of the official Betreuer.  She realized this friendly stranger could well be a another spy assigned by the DDR government to keep tabs on the American students, but it was fun to enjoy the attention of an attractive young man who seemed to show genuine interest in her, so she played along.  It didn't occur to her she could be in any danger.

They talked for quite a while at the cafe, discussing politics, movies, music, careers in the United States versus East Germany.  When she was ready to go, he accompanied her to the U-Bahn.  At some point, as they walked, they began to hold hands.  They continued to hold hands and sit closely on the bench as they waited for their train.  On the train they kept talking almost amorously until it was clear she had to make a decision.  He was headed for a party.  Although she didn't think his invitation was sincere, she made it clear needed to return to her hostel, that people from her group would miss her if she didn't show up for dinner.

At the time, she thought she would never forget him.  Upon parting, they exchanged small tokens of affection.  But today she doesn't remember his name or even his face, only that they spent an afternoon together pretending to fall in love, and that it was altogether pleasant.

Friday, April 21, 2017

Words

WORDS

Words open readers dreams sunward,
Opening like rays sailing in salty sunlight.
Readers dream of new worlds;
Dreaming of seeing, believing, believing to see.
Sunward we fly on the wings of words.

~ The Merry Lark
20170421

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Artist Dreams

Alternate Lives
Exercise for Artist's Way: List other lives I might want to lead, choose one to explore in more detail.

1. Photo-Journalist
2. Sculptor
3. Large Canvas Artist
4. Writer
5. Author of epic novels
6. Psycho-Therapist
7. Travel Journalist
8. Blogger (with a large following!)
9. Cinematographer
10. Movie Critic
11. Hermit
12. Composer

For the exercise as written in the book, the assignment was to think up 5 alternate lives.  I knew I had more than 5 in my imagination, so I decided to push the limit of how many I could genuinely envision with pleasure. 

For the most part, I have already lived the several lives I really want, and am currently approximating what is ideal for me at this time. The life I really want is one in which I have most of my time to myself, mostly to think, to ponder, to germinate the creative spirit within me, to dream, to plan.  Also to read, write, and simply putter in the environs where I want to work.  As for earning a living, I am happiest as a Piano Teacher, and independent artist.  While I loved playing for mass, I didn't particularly love working for The Church.  It seems to me that the emphases get off-kilter when there is so much focus on the hierarchy, and these days there is more of that generally and especially in my little "neck of the woods."  I started to feel the "trees" I loved so much were shutting out too much Son Light.  I know there is a place for all dimensions/facets/paradigms of The Church, but for me the balance isn't healthy in the day-to-day machinations of the local church, and I foresee it getting "worse" in the near future.  I am confident God will use everyone and everything toward God's Glory and our good, but the meanwhile is critical for my health.  God has given me a cornucopia of gifts, talents, opportunities, and capacities for pleasure and meaning; I choose to choose freedom, bliss, expansive thinking, growth.  Praise be Jesus!

As for "alternate lives" I tend to think in terms of things I'd like to do.  I'm already being who I want to be.  Given the list I made, it looks like most of my dreams have to do with writing and/or creating visuals.  For the second part of the exercise I choose to explore why I think I want to be a "Writer."
See next post!

Friday, June 24, 2016

Litany of Desolation

Angry
Bitter
Desolate

This world is not my home

Nor is any institution, no matter how nicely defined

Only Jesus is trust-worthy.
Only Jesus is faithful.
Ah, holy Jesus.

My wounded Head
My bleeding Heart
My whipped Body
My drained Blood
My crucified Lord

Only You, and You Alone.

Friday, April 1, 2016

Jesu Juva

Jesus, I'm stuck.
I'm so stuck I can't even figure out how to describe what this means.
It's so painful.
Jesus, help me.
That's all I know.
That's all I can say.
Jesus,
Help me.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Bless Your Holy Name

Praise the Lord, O my soul,
Let all that is within me bless His Holy Name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul,
Let every fiber of my being rejoice!

Bless You, Lord, for You are good,
You love us through everything.
Bless You, Lord, for You are merciful,
My heart is sustained by Your tenderness.

Oh Papa, loving Abba!  Bless You!
Oh Jesus Christ, lover of my soul! Bless You!
Oh Spirit, my breath, my Life!  Bless You!
Let all that is within me bless Your Holy Name!

The lips of my soul kiss You all over Your beautiful Face! :)
 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Grief in Rondo

Denial
Sad
Numb
Denial
Sad
Angry
Depressed
Angry
Denial
Sad
Numb
Denial
Sad...