Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Artist Dreams

Alternate Lives
Exercise for Artist's Way: List other lives I might want to lead, choose one to explore in more detail.

1. Photo-Journalist
2. Sculptor
3. Large Canvas Artist
4. Writer
5. Author of epic novels
6. Psycho-Therapist
7. Travel Journalist
8. Blogger (with a large following!)
9. Cinematographer
10. Movie Critic
11. Hermit
12. Composer

For the exercise as written in the book, the assignment was to think up 5 alternate lives.  I knew I had more than 5 in my imagination, so I decided to push the limit of how many I could genuinely envision with pleasure. 

For the most part, I have already lived the several lives I really want, and am currently approximating what is ideal for me at this time. The life I really want is one in which I have most of my time to myself, mostly to think, to ponder, to germinate the creative spirit within me, to dream, to plan.  Also to read, write, and simply putter in the environs where I want to work.  As for earning a living, I am happiest as a Piano Teacher, and independent artist.  While I loved playing for mass, I didn't particularly love working for The Church.  It seems to me that the emphases get off-kilter when there is so much focus on the hierarchy, and these days there is more of that generally and especially in my little "neck of the woods."  I started to feel the "trees" I loved so much were shutting out too much Son Light.  I know there is a place for all dimensions/facets/paradigms of The Church, but for me the balance isn't healthy in the day-to-day machinations of the local church, and I foresee it getting "worse" in the near future.  I am confident God will use everyone and everything toward God's Glory and our good, but the meanwhile is critical for my health.  God has given me a cornucopia of gifts, talents, opportunities, and capacities for pleasure and meaning; I choose to choose freedom, bliss, expansive thinking, growth.  Praise be Jesus!

As for "alternate lives" I tend to think in terms of things I'd like to do.  I'm already being who I want to be.  Given the list I made, it looks like most of my dreams have to do with writing and/or creating visuals.  For the second part of the exercise I choose to explore why I think I want to be a "Writer."
See next post!

Friday, June 24, 2016

Litany of Desolation

Angry
Bitter
Desolate

This world is not my home

Nor is any institution, no matter how nicely defined

Only Jesus is trust-worthy.
Only Jesus is faithful.
Ah, holy Jesus.

My wounded Head
My bleeding Heart
My whipped Body
My drained Blood
My crucified Lord

Only You, and You Alone.

Friday, April 1, 2016

Jesu Juva

Jesus, I'm stuck.
I'm so stuck I can't even figure out how to describe what this means.
It's so painful.
Jesus, help me.
That's all I know.
That's all I can say.
Jesus,
Help me.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Bless Your Holy Name

Praise the Lord, O my soul,
Let all that is within me bless His Holy Name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul,
Let every fiber of my being rejoice!

Bless You, Lord, for You are good,
You love us through everything.
Bless You, Lord, for You are merciful,
My heart is sustained by Your tenderness.

Oh Papa, loving Abba!  Bless You!
Oh Jesus Christ, lover of my soul! Bless You!
Oh Spirit, my breath, my Life!  Bless You!
Let all that is within me bless Your Holy Name!

The lips of my soul kiss You all over Your beautiful Face! :)
 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Grief in Rondo

Denial
Sad
Numb
Denial
Sad
Angry
Depressed
Angry
Denial
Sad
Numb
Denial
Sad...

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Looking for Leo

I want to write to Leo.
I want to talk with God.
I want to hear God talk to me.
I want God to wrap His arms around me and tell me
how everything is according to a Great Good Plan.
I want talking with God to help me know I am who I am supposed to be.
I am anxious.
Nothing satisfies.
Nothing draws me to itself.
Except God.
I want God.
I want God to fill me with His Communing-Spirit.
I want to connect with God.
So why do I want to write to Leo?
Who is Leo?
Leo is God inside of me.
Leo is my Lion.
Leo is the lion of my visions.
Leo is The One Who could devour me but doesn't.
Leo is Other Who Makes Himself Intimate with me.
Leo is where and how within myself I connect with God.
Leo is my Integrity-ability.
Leo is tamed only by Christ.
And even Christ chooses not to tame Leo.
Why is this?
Christ calls me to abandon my entirely-known self.
Leo is the enfleshment of my abandonment.
Lord, help me meet Leo.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Autumn Morning

Autumn Morning
by MaryLouise H. Carlisle, 20131106

Wet steady barken brown
Crisp reddish purple gown
Flying golden orange glow
Near-white cosmic gray
Darting colors every way
I look outside my window